Now Playing Tracks

happiness is.

Never stop questioning the world. Your curiosity is the key to unlocking your potential. But never question your happiness. Stop clouding your mind with “why,” and allow yourself to be. Spend your supply of question marks on the world’s conundrums, its contradictions, the millions of things that don’t make sense. And when you’re exhausted from all the thinking, drink in the water of your happiness. Come back to it at the end of a long day and revel in its simplicity. Because it doesn’t matter what causes it, or if it’s warranted, or if others see it. What matters is that it exists. So far, it’s the only aspect of life I’ve found whose mere presence trumps its raison d’etre. So relax in it, before you scare it away.

article: "shopping bulimia" provides a new way for bitches to blame their habits on an "illness"

bitchescanthang:

“Madhok is just one of the growing number of women who are shopping bulimics — otherwise known as circular shoppers or chronic returners. Blame it on the convenience of online shopping, or busy New Yorkers who just don’t have time to deal with dressing rooms. Whatever the motivator, women would rather face the repercussions of speed-shopping than commit to a new outfit”

Wait.. so women are finally ready to admit that it’s okay to not want to commit to something? Guys, commence comparing your girlfriends to a Marc Jacobs bag the next time you need an out. “I mean, you looked good when I picked you out, but once I put my stuff inside of you I realized how unnecessary it was to keep you around.”

posted by That Bitch at 5:45 PM on 3/9/11

I’m gonna start asking boyfriends for a gift receipt.

findyourfacemate.com's epic business plan has inspired me..

bitchescanthang:

The article starts out fine; a study in New York Magazine found that you’re more likely to get along with your old ball and chain if you look similar. Kinda weird, but I can believe it. I’d much rather sleep with me than you.

So Christina Bloom makes a dating site that performs a 9-point facial scan and provides you with your matches based on who would most likely be mistaken for you, given the right ambiguous haircut and mood lighting. Common interests, shmommon interests. That “what will we talk about” bullshit is secondary to the gameplan, here. All about the face.

Which would be all well and good if the article didn’t go on to say this founder bitch “came up with the idea for findyourfacemate.com after discovering she looked alot like her ex husband. But since they’re divorced, the power of facial resemblance clearly only went so far.” Excuse me? That’s allowed? To witness a concept completely crash and burn firsthand and then base a business off it? I wish someone would have told me! Shit, in that case, I’m pleased to announce the launch of my newest websites:

DateYourBoss.com - a dating site that sets you up with your current boss. Provides a complimentary Outlook plug-in that instantly purges your inappropriate correspondence and free access to scripts for your inevitable meetings with the HR department.

SleepWithHisBestFriend.com - Dating a guy with a hot best friend? Want to be able to sleep with him and still have things work out with your boyfy? Boom, we’ve got you covered. 

DateAYoungerGuy.com - A fantastic resource for women in their 20’s who need streamlined access to the younger crowd. Gone are your days of trying to fit in at underage college bars; We help put you in touch with the hottest 16-19 year olds in your area. Membership includes one (1) fake ID template and a pamphlet entitled “When the Balls Drop: Helping Your Man Through Puberty.”

Based on my horrible failure with all of the above endeavors, I’d say they’re foolproof ideas to be consumed by the masses. Logic: Thanks, Christina!

posted by That Bitch at 1:07 PM on 3/7/11

something really awesome.

my useless blog that no one follows here is going to take a backseat for a minute while I work on something really awesome. I’ve promised my “business partner” that “something really awesome” would be the only words we could use in reference to said something, so that’s all you’re getting for now, but I’m gonna need the support of my, what, 6 followers on here in a few days. and that would really be something. awesome.

The arts are not a way of making a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country, 2005 (via happythings.)

(Source: onlyondemairt)

my (candid) thoughts on christina’s anthem fail.

so a lot of people are talking about xtina’s major eff-up of the national anthem on sunday. and then there’s those people that say “oh come on, she was in front of millions of people, she was nervous, her voice was great, blah blah blah…” no. i’m sorry but no. i’m going to go on record right now as saying that messing up our country’s national anthem is no longer, from this day forward, a forgivable offense. i know what you’re thinking, it NEVER should have been. thats a valid point i fully agree with, but i’m trying to meet people halfway on this one. can we just all agree, right now, february 8th, 2011, from this day on, no one shall be forgiven for messing up the words to a nearly 200 year old song of undeniable national importance and identity? 

here’s the thing. you’re surrounded by a shit ton of assistants, personal groomers, dog walkers, pillow fluffers… maybe employ a googler. like, think about it. not only could they look up, print, and shove down your throat the lyrics to a song you should already know inside and out, but they could also let you know that the look you were going for in the “not myself” video already exists in a figure known as LADY GAGA. i think this person could be indispensable to you. just saying, look into it.

bottom line is this: you’re getting paid out the ass to stand in front of millions of people, including hundreds of thousands who put their lives on the line every day to defend the freedom you irresponsibly enjoy. maybe take a few minutes to learn the 80 WORDS (yeah, that’s right, i counted) that are asked of you. that’s 25% of the amount of words in your groundbreaking hit “Dirrty.”

i vote revoke her paycheck and donate it to a soldiers relief fund. 

help answer this question. please.

i seriously need answers. i need people to chime in, give me their two cents, and help me figure this one out. because i’ve thought and thought about it, and i’m convinced a solution isn’t reachable.

here it is.. which is more important in a new relationship: to learn from your past mistakes, or to remain unjaded and openminded?

think about it. they are completely conflicting pieces of advice, and without realizing it, people tell you both. all the time. “pay attention to the red flags,” “better to follow your gut on a situation and leave before you get hurt,” and then in almost the same sentence, “well he’s not your ex, so don’t hold your ex’s mistakes against him,” “every situation is different, he might not be like that” ….. COMPLETE CONTRADICTIONS. so which one trumps the other? mistakes are made so that we can learn from them, no? but you also can’t walk around life with 800 chips on your shoulder about everything that’s ever been done to you. Its true, every situation IS different, and maybe this new relationship isn’t the same situation you’ve been hurt in before. but if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and maintains an awkward relationship with its exgirlfriend like a duck, shouldn’t you cut and run?

help.

a little screencap of my twitter feed.. congrats LivingSocial. you just guaranteed i will never ever use your services. “ok random reality celebs. make sure you tweet this exact, disingenuous (and grammatically flawed) sentence at 2:48 PM EST.” 

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union